Polarized Bonds
By: Kayla Beam
Who inspires and motivates me to be my best self? This question has hung in the back of my mind since I have begun the transition into my more independent young adult life, and I believe I have finally discovered my answer. No single person pushes me the way that my family does. They inspire me to pick the right boy to talk to, take that more difficult class, get more involved at school, get a job to be more independent, the list goes on.
Similar to most I distinguish my family into two sides, my mothers side of the family, and my fathers side. My mothers side is something entirely of its own, we have over eighty members on that side all living in Maryland no more than thirty minutes away from each other. This close physical proximity to one another has created a strong emotional bond between us all. The roots for my mothers family run deepest in Woodbine Maryland, my ancestors can be traced back to this area well into 1830’s. Many generations have come before me, but the one I truly remember begins with the sisters. My great-grandmother Violet had thirteen children, but had many complications with several of them, as a result five children were either stillborn or died very early on. Of Violet's eight surviving children two of them were male and the remaining six female, these six surviving females are what is known in my family as the sisters. The sisters are the glue that holds my family together, they are the oldest living relatives from which the rest of my family is shaped from. As a whole we have a plethora of long standing traditions begun before I was even born, like every single holiday gathering begins at two and will always be followed by card games, and no one will ever have to ask because this is how it has always been. My family has always had an especially close bond with one another, and they have raised me on a foundation of strong traditions and looking up to even stronger female figures.
My fathers side of the family falls on the complete opposite side of the spectrum when compared to my mothers. My fathers side is much smaller having around forty members that live very dispersed along the east coast. This large proximity away from each other has made it difficult to see members of this family often and as a result we are not very close to one another. Much of this side of the family's history is unknown to me due to the lack of contact I have with most of the members. There is a completely separate order to this side of the family with an elder male figure almost acting as the head of the family. Most of the female figures allow the males in the family to take more leadership roles while they follow examples, in an older more traditional family style. Most of us try to get together for important holidays,birthdays, or special events but beyond that not much effort is made to get together. This lack of personal bonding does not mean I love this family any less, but the dynamics and familial values are completely different.
No matter what side of the family you look at, I can confidently say that every single member has played a role in shaping what I want out of life. From my family I have learned I want to lead a more modernized lifestyle. On my mothers side family life is almost ruled in a matriarchal style with the sisters acting like the head of the family keeping the everyone close and traditions alive. In contrast my fathers family leads a more traditional lifestyle with a single older male figure leading in more of a patriarchal style, where women are expected to play certain roles. They have all provided me with a wide variety of perspectives not only on family dynamics but also on how I want my life to be shaped in the future. This has inspired and pushed me to further my education so I can be a self thinking, independent woman in today's society.
Similar to most I distinguish my family into two sides, my mothers side of the family, and my fathers side. My mothers side is something entirely of its own, we have over eighty members on that side all living in Maryland no more than thirty minutes away from each other. This close physical proximity to one another has created a strong emotional bond between us all. The roots for my mothers family run deepest in Woodbine Maryland, my ancestors can be traced back to this area well into 1830’s. Many generations have come before me, but the one I truly remember begins with the sisters. My great-grandmother Violet had thirteen children, but had many complications with several of them, as a result five children were either stillborn or died very early on. Of Violet's eight surviving children two of them were male and the remaining six female, these six surviving females are what is known in my family as the sisters. The sisters are the glue that holds my family together, they are the oldest living relatives from which the rest of my family is shaped from. As a whole we have a plethora of long standing traditions begun before I was even born, like every single holiday gathering begins at two and will always be followed by card games, and no one will ever have to ask because this is how it has always been. My family has always had an especially close bond with one another, and they have raised me on a foundation of strong traditions and looking up to even stronger female figures.
My fathers side of the family falls on the complete opposite side of the spectrum when compared to my mothers. My fathers side is much smaller having around forty members that live very dispersed along the east coast. This large proximity away from each other has made it difficult to see members of this family often and as a result we are not very close to one another. Much of this side of the family's history is unknown to me due to the lack of contact I have with most of the members. There is a completely separate order to this side of the family with an elder male figure almost acting as the head of the family. Most of the female figures allow the males in the family to take more leadership roles while they follow examples, in an older more traditional family style. Most of us try to get together for important holidays,birthdays, or special events but beyond that not much effort is made to get together. This lack of personal bonding does not mean I love this family any less, but the dynamics and familial values are completely different.
No matter what side of the family you look at, I can confidently say that every single member has played a role in shaping what I want out of life. From my family I have learned I want to lead a more modernized lifestyle. On my mothers side family life is almost ruled in a matriarchal style with the sisters acting like the head of the family keeping the everyone close and traditions alive. In contrast my fathers family leads a more traditional lifestyle with a single older male figure leading in more of a patriarchal style, where women are expected to play certain roles. They have all provided me with a wide variety of perspectives not only on family dynamics but also on how I want my life to be shaped in the future. This has inspired and pushed me to further my education so I can be a self thinking, independent woman in today's society.